Advice Column — No. 4 — Repairing the Harm

Question: I have been in recovery for twenty years and even though I have been sober all this time, I never got it together with my ex. I was still a scary abusive jerk. I am divorced now, but I have four children, some are teenagers and some are in their early twenties. I was abusive to them as they grew up. I would put them down and I was physically abusive to them, too.

Advice Column — No. 3 — Is Snooping Really Abuse?

Question: My partner is always on the phone. She’s always talking, texting, on IG, Tik Tok, whatever. I started to wonder if there was someone else, so I went through her phone when she left it out where I can see it. There was nothing there. Now my brother is giving me a hard time about it, saying it was wrong to go through her phone, but I feel a lot better and I know I’ve been much more chill with her since I took a look.

Advice Column — No. 2 — Changing Abusive Values

Question: My brother says, “He has the right,” all the time when I try to talk to him about how he treats his girlfriend. He says he “has the right” to decide what they spend money on, that he gets to decide that she should always take care of the kids, that she should make dinner and that he should be able to hang out with his friends when he wants to because he does “real” work.